There is no designated time for anything in your life. You don’t have to have your first kiss at any certain time, you don’t have to get married in your 20′s and you don’t have to do anything just because other people think it’s best. In fact, you will be much better off if you just do what your heart says. The day you stop caring what other people think is the day their opinions don’t mean anything, because you’re not there to give them weight.
A bunch of things have happened over the past few months.
I stopped running and started working. all the time.
I have a new job that I love. A job that let’s me care for people and use many creative outlets as well as feeding that hunger for law and justice.
I had a very real relationship. Well as real as it gets for me and it ended. He told me he just didn’t see it working out in the long run. I agree. And I told him it was okay and there were no hard feelings. But I was sad. Today at church the priest said that it is okay to not forgive someone right away and to let the feelings set it. So I will admit it, I am angry and frustrated. I didn’t ask for anything, I wasn’t intrusive but I was willing to be supportive. I was ready to give whatever I needed to… be it time or anything else. So it is not okay and there are hard feelings.
There are really cool things happening in my life right now. It baffles me as to why no one wants to share it with me. But at the end of the day it’s okay. My apartment can be messy. I can throw all my clothes around. I can eat cereal for dinner and a snickers bar for breakfast. Life is good. The best is yet to come.
You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.
ugh stop sending me pictures of the beach, and screenshots of how warm the weather is, and places I used to go, or anything that reminds me that i’m 1,000 miles from home because it is making me sick to my stomach…..
Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you- it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you… Hopefully, you leave something good behind.